We all knew the day would come. The day I’d have to answer the burning question: why quick cook rice?
Let’s just be honest: there’s nothing really quick about many of my recipes, and I rarely feature rice, so why not something related to veggies or veganism or my zest for life?
Well, here’s the simple and the complicated answer: rice is one of my two last names.
And if you’re thinking, “So what? No big deal. What do I care about her last name? I’ll either like her recipe or I won’t.” I’m just gonna clear up a few misconceptions about names.
- Names are hugely important. Names define us, determine where we sit in homeroom, and when we’re called upon.
- Our last names often become nicknames or terms of endearment. Case in point: I was commonly known by rice on the soccer field.
- I did not play soccer. Well, I did, but not long enough or well enough to deserve a nickname. I may not have been good on a team, but my friends often referred to me by Rice.
- Our surnames, last names, family names typically signify where you came from and where you ancestors came from. Rice is not a good indication of my ancestry, but that is a story for another time; it involves history and immigration and a confusing number of birth records. And since this post is about marriages and weddings and stir fry, I’m think it’s not a good time.
- Unlike women in a surprising number of world’s countries, women in the U.S. will very likely change their name upon marriage. Some women, back in the olden days of 2007, apparently gambled their name’s fate (whether to keep it or not) on the outcome of a bride’s family vs. groom’s family softball game.
- No, Soon-to-be-J.D. is not Mr. Soon-to-be-J.D.-Rice, nor is he Mr. Rice. That’s my dad. And his dad.
- Yes, I kept my name, my hyphenated name. And my mom kept hers.
- No, I don’t feel conflicted, confused or concerned about the decision (though I think that’s probably a valid set of feelings), but I do feel annoyed. Annoyed because people seem to assume that I’m either a girl who hyphenated her own name (which in of itself is fine) and then proceed to call me Mrs. Rice (that’s my grandmother). Or people assume that I’m a freaky liberal girl (girl is a bit of an understatement, but the real word is too graphic for my PG blog) who would never get married (someone with too much time devoted an entire forum to this very topic). Or they assume that I’m a judgement jerk and won’t take the time to understand my motivations. Or they assume I changed my name even though I’ve never once indicated that and proceed to write checks to Mr. and Mrs. Soon-to-be-J.D.
- It should be noted that I cannot cash those checks.
- You would be annoyed too.
- Even if you hate this topic and already have or are planning to change your name and close this browser window.
- Here’s the thing: I just wish women would talk about this issue a bit more than never. If you’re into changing your name for whatever reason, OK. That’s cool. But why automatically assume that a woman will change her name upon marriage? I don’t assume that just because your name is Moonshine Sunrise you’re the product of hippie-dippy union on a commune in Vermont.
Now that the tough stuff is out the way, let’s get to the easiest recipe on earth. It’s certainly easier than changing your name, which I hear is quite a complicated process, though you can gift a future bride with this bizarre name changing service. Please no hate mail about name changes. Change your name, keep your name, create a whole new name, move to that awesome compound in Vermont, I’ll like you in spite of your name, OK? I just want to be friends with happy, conscious eaters.
And Soon-to-be-J.D. wants everyone to know that he is not in fact Mr. Soon-to-be-J.D.-Pasta. He also likes rice. Heck, he even married one.
So Not Mr. Rice Easy Fried Rice
- 1 package dried oyster mushrooms
- 1 cup shiitake mushrooms, sliced
- 1 leek, chopped
- 1 carrot, peeled and sliced
- 1-inch fresh ginger, grated
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- 2 t rice vinegar
- 1/4 cup Nama Shoyu (or soy sauce of your choice)
- 1 t sesame oil
- 2 cups cooked brown rice
1. Add small amount of a high heat oil to a frying pan or wok.
2. Stir fry garlic, ginger, leeks, and carrots until leeks are soft.
3. Add mushrooms and stir fry till brown.
4. Add rice vinegar, Nama Shoyu, and rice. Stir to combine.
But if you want to marry it, you’ll have to decide whether Mr. and Mrs. Stir Fry works for you.